I’ve been prepping the garden for my fourth annual Mother’s Day brunch, our first outdoor celebration of the season. So when a TIME magazine article about the life of working mother, Jennie Magill, in 1956 arrived in my inbox earlier this week, I paused to consider how much motherhood has changed in the last 60 years. Back then, it was unusual for mothers to work and, as such, TIME magazine made a big deal of this phenomenon. It sounds so silly to do an exposé on something that is now the norm. But that’s exactly the point…what a nice salute to the pioneers who made it possible for today’s working moms to have it all.
As a little girl in the 1960s, I remember telling my stay-at-home mom that I felt sorry for my three brothers, who would some day have to go to work like my dad and miss all the fun at home. Even as a 6-year-old I knew there was something inherently unfair about this male inevitability, never dreaming how far the pendulum would swing by the time I was ready to have a family of my own. After graduating from college and working for 9 years, I had my first baby. It was the early ‘90s, nearly 40 years after the TIME story was published. I took the standard maternity leave and briefly entertained the idea of being a stay-at-home mom. But, feeling the pressure to do what my mother’s generation, for the most part, did not have the opportunity to do, I dutifully returned to work as a Vice President at Hill and Knowlton, New York, at the time the biggest and most prestigious PR agency in the world. The agency had been acquired in a hostile takeover a few years earlier and, by this time, the mood had become quite somber. Pink slips were being given out like candy to improve the bottom line. Even though I felt fairly secure in my job, I took this as a sign to follow my heart and resigned to become a full-time mom…or so I thought.
As happy as I was to be home with my new baby, this was no easy adjustment. Wall Street Journal reporter Iris Krasnow’s inspiring book “Surrendering to Motherhood” saved me. I took comfort in knowing that I was not the only mother torn between two worlds. As it turned out, I hardly had time to adjust to my new role as stay-at-home mom. About a month into my retirement, the phone started ringing with big brands requesting my help to put their new beauty and apparel products in front of influential national consumer magazine editors. Too flattered to say no, before I knew it, I was working full-time as a consultant and haven’t come up for air since.
When my children were little, I was one of the few working moms in my community. At times, I longed to be part of the mommy and me playgroups organized by the stay-at-home moms, fearing my children were somehow missing out. Instead, I put my energy into finding nannies – incredible, fun, young women — who made sure my kids had a ball. Each stayed with us for years and soon our home became Playdate Central.
Now that my children are 21 and 17, I hope they look back on our “working mom” years together positively. Apparently, they do. They assuage my guilt with assurances that they were having a great time and felt I was always around, working, but always present. Phew. Today, most moms work. Hats off to Jennie Magill and all the other working moms who helped pave the way for the rest of us.
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
–Jennifer Bebon